August 9, 2018
(23 Weeks, 6 Days)
We felt Owen move this morning. Brian and I walked into our routine ultrasound appointment ready to see our boy and then go out to brunch. Unfortunately, no one is ever prepared for the silence that fills the room in leu of their child’s heartbeat. The sonographer stepped out and gave us the room as we sobbed and clung to one another. The reality and heaviness of Owen’s passing set in. The doctor came to give us our options. Our options were, waiting for labor to possibly begin naturally within the next few days, or be admitted for an induction which could ultimately result in a c-section. After some discussion, we chose to be admitted and attempt a VBAC, in hopes of a quicker physical recovery after Owen’s birth.
On August 11, 2018 at 6:41 a.m., after 40 hours of labor, multiple induction methods, all the pitocin, an epidural, a transverse baby, and 5 different OB’s, I gave birth to Owen Gregory Cooper, our little boy.
The silence of a stillbirth is heavy and heartbreaking. Birth that usually brings such joy and celebration, brought tears and heartache to our quiet room. We scooped Owen up, wrapped him in his ‘Grandma quilt’, and spent time together with our boy. Owen weighed 2lbs 2oz, had pudgy little hands and feet, his dad’s funny ears, and the sweetest little mouth. We know Owen is rejoicing in heaven with his Creator, no longer sick or swollen. Our sadness is not without Hope. We know that we will meet him one day, fully restored with Christ.
Thankfully the VBAC delivery was successful and uncomplicated. After the placenta was delivered my blood pressure began to normalize. Blood work was checked and found to be improving, so we were able to be discharged home late that afternoon.
Arriving to the hospital with a baby, but leaving without one is devastatingly painful. We know the Lord himself goes before us and WILL see us through (Deuteronomy 31:8), He is near to the broken-hearted (Psalm 34:18). Be near now, Lord as we begin our healing process.